Guest Poet: Karl Bakla

A poem you won't read....

So uncontrollably angry
So uncontrollably upset
Why do we continually choose to add to others or our own pain?
Step on others
Hurt on them
Do we really feel better?
Step on, shove, & push to get ahead
Did we really, honestly succeed?
It hurts me to hurt my fellow man
More so than when they hurt me
But to be truthful it does hurt me
With your nasty comment
Intended for someone with no feelings, a subhuman
I’m sorry I’m being a pussy but it hurts
I have no will to fight
Unless it’s to protect myself or the people I love
Or even the people I don’t love

I just can’t do this any more
This bull shit…
What bull shit you ask
You know what bull shit
This bull shit…

I don’t want to compete against you
What’s the point?
So I can have a false illusion I am better
The one who needs that they are better
Is not better…
They are worse since they feel so bad
That they need something so lame
I take that back they are not worse
Fuck, I feel your pain

Man, I really just need a hug
But I’m sure you think that’s queer
Ok, ok, that’s cool how about a high five
I’d much rather show some affection
Than some bullshit heterosexual aggression

I stand in the middle on the floor
No one understands
How much hurt is one person suppose to take?
With every comment of you are too sensitive
I take as another person who doesn’t understand

Why should I tolerate the cruel, the mean, & the insulting?
Aren’t we fellow human beings?
Don’t we feel the same hurt?
Why when I hurt I want to cry
& I do not want you to feel the pain I feel
Why when I hurt do I sit
& kill myself slowly drinking alcohol
Wishing tomorrow when I wake up in a hang over haze
That I wake up in a world with much less pain

My hands are in the air
I give up
Man, I don’t want to fight
I don’t want to compete
I just want to live
I know I sound week
I don’t care
I know no other way
To live

- Karl Bakla